Pages

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

I told my parents about bae, but now we aren't getting along!

You were sure he or she was the one, and all of a sudden, your relationship nose dives into dangerous, my parents are going to disown me territory. What do you do? Do you tell your parents? Do you keep it a secret? Read on for helpful tips. 

First things first, keep your problems with bae between you two. I don't know if this is obvious or not, but anything, absolutely anything that happens between you and bae, should stay between you and bae. Whether you're happy as can be with your partner or binge eating to dampen your worries about your failing relationship, you've got to keep some things sacred. You've worked so hard to gain your parent's trust and accept interracial dating that the last thing you need is for them to see a crack. Also, consider when you're married and having problems, do you involve your parents? Probably not. You need time to figure out what is happening, what you can do to work on your relationship and if it's going to work. Once you've got that figured out, then it's best to open up to your parents.


Now, if you and bae don't work out, you still want to ensure your parents view your relationship positively. Don't share the nitty gritty, as it may turn them off of interracial dating and don't speak negatively about your ex, as this will only confirm their thinking of interracial dating. Instead, simply say that you just couldn't see the relationship progressing further. Don't share your tears, your worries, your decreased appetite, your tinder profile, or your rebound bae! Listen to me, pull it together! You've got this. They need to see you as a self-sufficient adult that can make decisions and stand by them. You also don't want your parents to view your partner negatively, as we all know that getting back together is always a messy probability. 

What are some tips you have for when telling your parents about your break-up?

How Do I Introduce Bae?

You've broken the ice to your parents about your interracial love, and now it's time to introduce your bae-bae to your parents. Simple right? Well, yes, it can be, minus your complex nerves. Let me help you simplify this meeting. 


First things first, choose the date to meet wisely. Is it a busy time of the year? Often times the holidays or long weekends are dedicated to family events, so you'd best avoid those. Not only because those times can be awfully hectic but also, being surrounded by family can create unrealistic expectations for bae by your parents. Remember, you want your introduction to be casual, not "Hey, mom and dad, so and so is joining the family now!" Uh no. 


Secondly, but very important, you want to keep the meeting brief. Have a start and end time to your meeting, this way both parties know what to expect, and don't feel uncomfortable cutting the introduction short. Keeping the first introduction short is also a good way to prevent your parents from prodding to deeply, that can come later, once your parents have gotten over the whole interracial dating bit. 


Choose a non-threatening environment to meet that ensures the meeting doesn't become a big, fat, yellow spotlight on the two of you and your relationship. You also don't want it to be interview-like. This will require some thoughtful planning. A baseball game, a live theatre show or even going out for dessert are all good ways to allow your parents to connect with bae while partaking in another activity. 

Following these three tips will help alleviate your nerves and make introducing your partner easy-peasy. Have any other tips for introducing bae? Please post below!