Long before love was in the question, I had friends and crushes that rallied with every flavour at all of the Menchies combined. Chocolate peanut butter topped with sprinkles, strawberry daiquiri with watermelon candies, vanilla with graham cracker bits and caramel syrup, you get the idea. So delicious. There was no correlation between love and colour for me as a young girl. All of my closest friends formed crushes on all types of guys and that became my barometer. Well, until I went to high school.
I didn't know what it was about high school but suddenly it felt like Menchies took a huge fourth quarter loss, and all they could offer was one flavour, and no toppings. Every Tamil girl I knew was obsessing over a Tamil guy, logging onto infolanka.com (DMs for you youngns') to connect with a Tamil guy, in a long-term relationship with a Tamil guy or dealing with an agent (yes, there are such people!) to get hooked up to a Tamil guy. Since I liked my ice cream, I started getting used to the idea that this was the only flavour available, and I can't lie, the flavour was good. Everybody around me seemed content with the idea as well. My black friends dated black guys. My white friends dated white guys. My Muslim friends abandoned dating all together but eventually found someone just like them too.
My early 20s really allowed me to discover what my taste in men was. After breaking up with my first real boyfriend, finishing University and losing my two best friends over drama, I felt like a real loser. So naturally, I deactivated my Facebook account and cut myself off from social media. I didn't want anyone knowing who I was and what I was doing, which was pretty much nothing. I became lonely quickly and so I called up what few girlfriends (more like acquaintances) I had left and we'd hit the town. I steered clear of brown guys on our quest to feel alive again, because I didn't want the word to get out to all 400 something of my Facebook friends. I quickly met different types of men. Jobless men to foreign men, Chinese Men to white men. It was refreshing. But what was most refreshing about it, was that I could do whatever I wanted, without judgement. And so I did do whatever I wanted.
So fast forward to today, what's my type? Well, through my experiences I didn't discover anything new that others didn't know already. I simply realized that all men, not just brown men have something special to offer. All men can be providers, protectors, lovers, loyal, not just brown men. When I realized this, I didn't care about being judged any longer. Through time I reactivated my Facebook, rekindled my broken friendships and opened myself up to love in any flavour. Today and forever, my favourite flavour is my husband (who self-identifies himself as mixed black and white). What could be better then the flavour of love, loyalty, passion, honesty and commitment?
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